so I'm at a pool party, tired of not being allowed to be myself.


-itsmilana

a little bit of everything

Wow it's been a while! I've just been slacking. No excuses. Let's catch up shall we?

Well I had my spring break a while ago and my hunny took me to San Luis Obispo to stay two nights at the infamous Madonna Inn. We stayed in pretty much the only room that of course had no hint of pink in it (my princess is a bit of a tom boy) with the only circular bed. The entire room was royal blue. From the king size bed spread, to the walls to the carpet. Amazing. The bathroom had a standing shower and had a pretty basic structure to it with golden colored decor. The best part of the room, besides the awkward bed, was the bedai. A heated, cleansing and self cleaning toilet. It was love at first feel for me. Playing with the different water pressures and angles will be one experience I will never forget. I'm convinced at getting one for my future residence.

Ok ok enough bathroom talk..moving on. As I mentioned we spent two nights at this lovely over-priced non-customer service oriented establishment and did a little bit of everything. From the million hour drive there and back, pink champagne with milk chocolate, and walks around downtown SLO, to eating at the very pink restaurants in the hotel and trying some eccentric food in down town it was an awesome little vacation. Our hopes of horse back riding along the beach were cut short with our realization that it wasn't just the hotel workers that were rude but the entire SLO population had no sense of decency and customer service. To compensate however, we did get a couples hot stone massage at the spa. To me the best part was the before and after. Getting our own robes and slippers and exfoliating body wash; and then tea and really good cookies afterword. Princess of course liked the entire 45 minute massage and fell asleep. I on the other hand was waiting for it to be over so we could talk about it. As much as I enjoyed the flaming hot stones all over my body, 45 minutes is a bit over kill; not to mention I can never really relax with a strangers hands all over my goddess like body :) The entire time I was honestly praying that mother nature wouldn't be coming to visit me while I was laying on cotton white sheets.

So that was pretty much my lovely & relaxing spring break.

Oh, and how does it feel to sleep on a round bed you ask..well it feels pretty much the same. The only difference was..for someone like me who likes to stretch while they sleep..it was interesting not to have your leg hanging off the side of the bed for half the night :)

Anyways, that's that. Since then nothing major has really happened. My mom had a housewarming party for her new condo. I got her a wall-fish bowl, in which she almost killed my brother's beta fish, otherwise known as california burrito.

Haven't really seen any new movies I don't think, because nothing interesting has been out. SEX & the CITY 2 comes out MAY 27th though and I am SO EXCITED for that!

I applied and pretty much am set on going to a one year paralegal program at USD after I graduate this G-d forsaken school, so I'm saving up for that...just $5000 more to go! Fail.

Princess is planning our cross country trip to among other things see her family and ultimately have me LEAVE HER for three inevitably unbearable months in South Carolina. another Fail.

Looking for a job. I've been laid off for a year now and now its really crunch time with my unemployment benefits stretching to their last days. I'm close to one now though, I can feel it.

My ideal summer would look something like this:

Fly back from my love July 5th

Go to Birthright Isreal trip with an old bestie for two weeks

Work Full Time M-F 9-5

Like is that too much to ask for? Geez.

I believe it can and will happen. I trust in the Universe and my positive energy!

Oh I've also had some kind of weirdo rash all over my body for three weeks now on and off. The weirdo part is it's not even a rash I've just been itchy like every other day! Benadryll, lotions, sprays every other day. I go to the pharmacist to ask what I should do; in all her personality and great look of concern she tells me to "just-take-Benadryll" fucking idiot. I hate when people don't have a personality. At least alter the tone of your voice so you don't sound so monotone and uneducated.

"But what if it's hives.."

"uhh, just-take-Benadryll"

"Could it be lice?" "

"that's for hair"

"But, aren't there body lice?"

"Oh...just-take-Benadryll"

"WHAT IF I WANTED TO SLAP THE ASIAN OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW"

"just-take-benadryl"

FAIL.

You know who is another idiot that really pissed me off recently? JESSICA SIMPSON.

First of all she has this show where she travels to different countries..long story short, she is so ignorant to these different cultures. So disrespectful and disgusting. Then she goes on tv to brag about the disgusting fact that she doesn't brush her teeth..only maybe 3 times a week. Why Ellen Degeneres asks.."because like my teeth are like so white that like they get really slippery and like hahha yeah..I mean I use Listerne hahaha" Fail.

I became obsessed with a show that's only new to me because seems like I'm the only one in the world that never had HBO, but it's called The Tudors. It's about Henry the 8th and among all the other history stuff, the different wives that he had. Ever since I read "The Other Bolyen Girl" I fell in love with Historical Fiction and the story of the Bolyens and their relationship with Henry the 8th. The movie that was based off the book did the book no justice, so when I watched this show I fell head over heels in love with the comparison. The Tudors concentrates on Anne Bolyen naturally as she was Henry's second wife; and his & her story and characters together are so sexy and by far my favorite. (second season) Other than that I love the dialect of that time. How elegant and properly people spoke in those days. The most basic things sounds so romantic just based on the way it is said. The women dress beautifully and the actors they picked for the characters make me want to be one of the king's mistresses. I figure, the queen has to deal with all the politics of the country as well as become quickly undesirable to the king if she doesn't give him a son in due time, and after she does; thus she gets cheated on regardless and eventually dies of a early death. That's where I come along; the mistress, the one the king desires above all other things and doesn't get beheaded. Really it sounds perfect I think, and I lived in a fantasy la la land everyday the past week or so as I caught myself up on all of the seasons.

Went out to a lesbian bar with the gf and a few other friends a few weekends ago; and I must say, besides the people, it was really chill. No cover charge. Couple different bars. Different types of music for different rooms. A pool table & foam. The girls were pretty much all bitchy and coupled off but I had my girls so it didn't matter.

Geez this is a long blog but what can I say I have a long break and a lot on my mind.

peace out a town down,

itsmilana

Awkward Times

Ok so, the princess nagged and ultimately persuaded me to start keeping up with my posts more. She just doesn't understand though, the delicate thought process that goes into deciding whether today is a blog worthy day or not. Oh well, maybe I'll explain it to her one day. Anyways, as she continued to count all FOUR people that "keep up with" and "look forward to" my blogs, I reluctantly agreed; partly to shut her up and partly because I might need her financial support when it comes to publishing my actual real book.

This weekend was some-what blog worthy so lets start from there. Saturday night the princess went out with her co-workers for what they call a "wet down." This is when a person is getting promoted (in this case my princess) and his or her co-workers take them out to get drunk. I was the designated driver for her that night, through no choice of my own. First, she needed to be dropped off in Chula Vista, which really is in the middle of nowhere. We passed the first toll road in the FastTrak lane, with no FastTrak pass; whoops. After she was successfully dropped off at the house she was to preflight at and greeted by a half-naked tatted guy, my friend and I drove off; each a bit resentfully, for our own reasons. We then preceded to follow google maps' directions back home which again took us to yet another toll road. Trying to do the right thing I this time went in the correct lane but quickly realized I had no cash; and so ran that red light; again, whoops. I reasoned that if the camera catches me, at least they'll see me trying and struggling to do the right thing. Anyways, we got to my friend's house, we'll call her Tamera, and got a little done up for an unpredictable night. Tamera, myself, and Tamera's sister, Tia then walked a few blocks to a cute little sushi bar, followed by decadent desserts at a properly named place, Heaven Sent. A hookah bar was next in the spur of the moment plans and so we went. Smoked a little, talked a bit, laughed a while, and danced a lot. At about 1:40am as we were leaving the hookah bar, the manager came up to me and offered me nothing other than a part time job as a belly dancer. Wow. He asked me to come in Monday (today) at about 5 to discuss the details...will I go; I guess we'll have to see. I'm no professional but I guess I move my hips like shakira and deserve some sort of pay for all the stares. The night then was followed by a semi drunken call with my princess and a drive downtown to pick her up. Downtown, the same place my princess managed to make a point to tell me repeatedly when we first started dating that she despises with a passion; and now is club hopping drunk with a bunch of guys; ehhh. Just breathe milana, breathe. Did I mention I have a low tolerance for drunk people? After a half an hour of rolling my eyes at her flirtatious comments to various girls on the street, we dropped Tia and Tamera off, came home and passed out.

Sunday, plans with dad and brother to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid the Movie in an attempt to spend some quality time together. We had some time to kill before the movie, so naturally proceeded to the mall. My dad, being not only a hairstylist and salon owner, but an obsessive business manager, immediately walked into a new salon to speak to the owner. Simultaneously my ten year old brother "wandered" almost automatically into a GameStop. I sat on a bench, waiting. Family quality time, nothing like it. I ultimately got a smoothie, a movie and some popcorn out of the whole experience so it wasn't a total bust. At least now I have another six or so months before my dad gets another compulsive itch to spend some quality time together.

Today is Monday and in about an hour or so I will be on my way to an advisor to discuss my hopeful paralegal future at USD. And then...a belly dancing interview?

My various passions, law and middle eastern exotic dance. Awkward.

'till next time,

itsmilana.

my princess & the pee

First of all Happy Valentines Day :) .. Now back to me. I would talk about my Friday and Saturday since I didn't blog on those days but its pretty much all boring stuff..studied bla bla bla class dinner yada yada watched a movie (which sucked by the way) and now we're at SUNDAY!

(well we were when I began writing this blog..really now we're on Tuesday ahha)

The most romantic day of the year and my anti-valentines day girlfriend and I appropriately plan to jump out of a plane together. Whoever knows me knows that I have been wanting and planning to sky dive for six years now. First I wasn't old enough, then I had no money, then it rained, and this year again it rained, sooo I re-scheduled it this year to Valentines day; granted I didn't even realize the "holiday" when I chose the day.

Anyways, the spectators consisted of my ten year old brother, my best friend and her on again off again boyfriend; the jumpers: my princess and I. She had decided to jump spontaneously one day and I was skeptical of her even going through with it until honestly the last minute. After we drove for a good while passing caution of "mexican-family-reunions crossing the freakin' highway" signs, making a left at a light and then a right at a dirt road and another left at a street with virtually no name and no existance on a map; we arrived. The guy immediately handed us forms telling us to, and I quote, "sign our lives away," I didn't find that humorous in the least. We signed, and went up the creaking steps to pay. Princess immediately had to urinate and excused herself to the restroom, where she spends most of her life pee-ing out the gallons upon gallons of water she drinks a day, and I took the opportunity to pay for the both of us as a Valentines gift. Even after she came back and saw my credit card being charged for the full double amount, she still proceeded to hand the Bulgarian receptionist her credit card..yeah, I don't know.

Anyways, we went back down where our admirers were walking around looking at the planes, and chose our three songs..1. beginning to the plane 2. 40 sec free fall 3. 7min parachute ride to the end. It came as no surprise that she chose all rock songs, yes she is my rock princess; and that I chose an array of lyrically comical songs: 1. tell me when to go (e40) 2. staying alive (bee gees) 3. my life be like ooh ahh (grits). Well let me tell you, from the beginning my "instructor" with whom I was tandem jumping, was, well, lets just say, too layed back. As my gf got a full review of the steps needed to be taken in the plane and in the air, my guy was eating a sub. A full, tomato, lettuce whatever kind of meat he had on there, subway foot long sub, all the way till it was time for us to jump..when he threw out whatever he didn't finish out the doorless, wireless, safeless, excuse for a plane we were in. So, tell me when to go? No no, there was none of that, no plan, no steps, nothing. He pretty much treated me like the remains of his breadless sub, once he was ready to throw it out he did, ohh yeah, he did.

The thing is, the first time he jokingly pushed me as if we were to fall right then and there, ha, funny, I'm not even ready, and the second time, I still wasn't re...there I go. Out of the plane. They told us to smile so the skin off our cheeks wouldn't go flying in all different direction..easier said then done. It was soo windy I couldn't even breathe let alone try to pose for the annoying little camera I decided to pay extra for. All in all it was amazing, the entire experience..especially when I looked up and saw my princess with a RAINBOW colored parachute.

After we landed, the "group" of people watching us drove us back to the main building where we proceeded to watch what we all agreed was the funniest thing we've seen, probably, ever. Well first, was my baby's video, it was awesome. She looked great, she did all the right things, all the right moves and smiled brilliantly; pretty much all of the reasons I'm with her in the first place aha. No, seriously though, her video should be one of their commercial ones. And thenn, there was mine. Wow. Those facial expressions I don't know where they came from, I really truly dont, so don't ask me. I was like a frightened fish gulping for air attempting to smile while my cheeks were sky diving right beside me. I've watched it twice, and cried from laughter virtually every time.

AH, what a perfect thing to do on Valentines day.
People throughout the day, including the couple we were with, continued to ask us what we were doing for Valentines day, AFTER knowing we had just skydived..we jumped out of a plane together, what the fuck are you doing?!

:) After, we went to my moms to drop off my brother, eat and show our videos again, and then headed straight home. The whole thing took probably an hour or so, but it had drained us both. I had homework to do and princess went grocery shopping..all by herself. She's a big kid now.

And so, that was all. Monday I got up early to "babysit" aka help the mom organize the house, and then had a "hair appointment."
Now, believe it or not, the best part of my entire weekend was Monday afternoon and on. The weather was perfect, the cat was calm and my baby was loving. Calm, peaceful, loving, perfect.


I wrote about an essay's worth of "blog material" and doubt anyone will actually even read it,
so time to stop I think,


adios muthafuckaaaaaa


itsmilana

freakishly small

Basic day. No first class (furlough day). Marketing = Boring. Finance = Overwhelming. Management = Elementary. Business = SATURDAY. Lord. Finished Business homework, must study and review tomorow, but in good shape overall. Finance; homework due Sunday @ 11pm!!! Hopefully not TOO hard but GRADED! Sunday, Valentines Day, for once in my life I have a freakin' Valentine; THE Valentine nonetheless. Nothing says romance more than jumping out of a plane with your significant other on Vday while your two bestfriends and 10 year old brother watch. I can't wait personally. It will be two Bucket List items crossed off the list; 1. Have a Valentine 2. Sky Dive. Then March 29th spending the night at the Modanna Inn with the Princess; Room: Vous. The most interesting one there :) A vacation of fun activities with her majesty...two more things crossed off the list 3. Modanna Inn 4. Vaca with Lover.

So freakin' tired,
I'm outro.

itsmilana


ps. Jared lady said that I have freakishly small fingers. Size 4. Toddlers have thicker fingers than me. Seriously.

..

Does that suck for me though...or for them?

Hmmmm.

procrastination: DENIED

So of course because I didnt have school today (only on Tues & Thur) and was allowed to sleep in, I couldn't sleep at all. I know most people can relate to this; you want to sleep when you need to get up but you cant sleep when you're alloted the time. Grr.

This morning when my girlfriend texted me her usual "howd you sleep" text message while at work, I quickly and somewhat resentfully responded with a blunt and direct "bad." I know it wasn't her fault that I didn't sleep well AT ALL last night and that I annoyingly got up at 9am this morning, but I would like to blame her for at least a little part of it. For anyone who knows me even a little bit, they know that I sleep with 1 electric blanket and probably around 3-7 regular blankets on me every night; on top of the sweatshirt and sweat pants I'm already wearing to bed. Last night however, the lovely and decadent wifey decided to persuade and guilt trip me into sleeping topless, reassuring me that she'll hold me and keep my warm all night..no sweat shirt, no shirt, no bra. Result? I woke up sick all over again. Or so it seemed. I almost literally froze my nipples off. In the morning when she got up, she did her daily ritual of turning on the heat for herself, because the princess can't be cold during the 10 whole minutes she spends in the room getting ready, and then turning off the heat before leaving. Did I kiss her goodbye this morning? Well, yes, yes I did, but I didn't want to!

Anyways, I get up, still fully tired from the entire week I haven't slept, silently and in some cases vocally cussing out my girlfriend to Joey, the also not-so-innocent kitten bystander; but in full determination to study my ass off today. And let me tell you, study my ass off I did. Now, true, I didn't cover every subject I should have, but I can honestly say with a clear conscience I did as much as I physically and mentally could for the day, stopping only for the essential, bathroom, food, water & chocolate breaks.

Finally after what seemed to be an entire lifetime of reading about ethics in business, my girlfriend announced that dinner was ready..and when I say announced, I mean she handed me a bowl with the word "here" pointedly attached to it. I take a bite and my phone vibrates. What the hell. Who the hell. One of my best friends is in dire need of a ride to school for reasons that could make up an entire Lifetime Movie. I tried to ignore it, I tried putting my phone to the side, but I couldn't. Stupid thing kept vibrating. I was tired, the food was good, and I was facing a best friend dilemma. After her desperate attempt of using every single frowning face a cell phone key pad can produce, I gave in, half heartedly. Knowing however, that I was doing the right thing, and that she would be there for me if the "car was in the other driveway" so-to-speak. So I went, unhappily, picked her up, took her to her school, which was maybe 15 minutes away from my home, and on the way back, got lost. Fifteen minutes, the G-d forsaken thing was 15 minutes away from my home and I got about 30-40 minutes lost on my way back.

Good news is, as I was sobbing to my mom on the phone about my whereabouts, trying to avoid calling my girlfriend and getting a frustrated sigh", she decided to buy me a GPS. Ohh mother, I couldn't think of a more perfect gift to go along with my ring from Jared. My birthday and day was then complete. I still did proceed to call my girlfriend in hopes of maybe some nurturing words, as she very well did give me, and shortly thereafter arrived home where my perfect parking spot was taken. Uhhhg.

Well I walked into the apartment, only satisfied by the fact that I got home and still had another hour to spend with the one I love, she proceeded to tell me she was going to bed. Wonderful.

Its ok though, I used my power of persuation and supple lips to convince her to at least stay on the couch for a while longer. :)

So now my princess is passed out into a wonderful sleep, which I can only hope to experience again someday.

99problems,
most of them all in one day

tonight I shall sleep,
talk to you tomorow..

itsmilana

deprived & dehydrated

After what seems like a month of being sick + womanly pains, my body finally decided to allow me and my mind some peaceful sleep. Unfortunately, I had school today, so my ecstatic sleep was cut short. This then caused me to desperately try and stay awake for my classes today, ALL DAY. How'd I do it? How did I actually keep from allowing my head to bob down and doze off? I could only think of one solution. No, not to sit in front of the class, because guess what..I already do that, and trust me, my heavy eyelids do not care where the hell I sit. No no, the only thing I could think of is to eat. That actually seems to be my solution to pretty much most of my problems in life. So I snacked on trail mix for pretty much the entire day, with not even a sip of a drink. Why? Because I sincerely HATE paying for water (the only thing I really drink) and I forgot to bring a water bottle with me today. So recap, I'm sleep deprived and dehydrated. Meanwhile, sitting in my classes I realize that I need to start studying and reviewing this stuff at home, I've been slacking! Ok, so go home, nap, eat, study, sleep. That was my sturdy go-getter plan...nope. I got home, didn't even sit down, cooked, didn't even eat, sat down, watched american idol, and well, here we are. Time flies when you have homework to do. It's about nine-thirty now and as much as I should study, I am honestly dead tired! Yes yes I could have spent some time reviewing instead of writing a blog, but, well, no. So I am tired and will have to put off my review for another day; but as one of my best friends would say, "its ok! you have all day tomorow to do all of it!" and sadly, she would make me feel better about it, no matter how lazy I knew the logic really was, and even more sadly I would listen.

So goodnight worldwideweb,

im signing off,

itsmilana






interesting lil fact:
[500+ employees; 29 accused of physical spousal abuse, 7 arrested for fraud, 19 accused of bouncing checks, 117 bankrupt at least two companies, 3 done time for assault, 71 can’t get a master card or visa because of bad credit, 14 arrested for drugs, 8 arrested for shoplifting, 21 current defendants for law suits, 84 arrested for drunk driving = The United States Senate]

now 22

Well well well, today is February 8th 2010, what does that mean to the rest of the world? Six more days until Valentines Day I'm sure; but to me and my small world of friends and family, it's Milana's 22nd Birthday. And so, I thought I would update my pathetic attempt at a blog, and maybe even keep up with it.

My girlfriend attempted to surprise me with a dinner with a few of my closest friends on Friday at a sit-on-the-floor sushi restaurant I've been dying to go to. After I ruined my surprise by guessing the plans, I decided to invite my mother as the much needed sixth person to rsvp (yes, i don't even have six good enough friends; sad I know), which I later came to find out added some nervousness to a specific dinner guest.

Dinner was great and presents were even better. A couple new shirts, chocolates, a new purse, some earrings, and then the big christmas bag. Upon leaving the house, my girlfriend decided to put her gift into an XL christmas bag..odd? yes. lovable? ohh yes. So, after opening up all my other gifts, it came time for my "christmas" present. Inside the christmas bag was a smaller bag, yes ladies and gentleman, SHE WENT TO JARED! Oh was I psyched. Excited and enchanted beyond belief. Inside the golden bag was an even smaller golden box with white bow around it; yes, the next box was a leathered white ring box with nothing but the prettiest heart-shaped diamond ring in it. My eyes lit up, and as I looked at her, she soft spokenly said "it's a promise ring baby, i love you, happy birthday." She was so nervous, especially with my mother sitting by my other side, looking back, I could almost see her shaking and trying not to stutter with every word. That was that. She made my birthday the best I have ever had. It didn't even matter that my congestion and sinus pressure was so excrutiating making me not in the least bit physical shape to go out for the hookah lounging.

Saturday went by like any other day, and so did Sunday; besides of course the fact that I was sick as a dog with possibly the worst cramps known to man.

Today was a pretty much regular day as well. Slept soundly for the first night ever, woke up to about nine text messages and two missed calls and voicemails. Went here and there with one of my best friends and spent the night with my baby.

Well thats the story of Milana's 22nd Birthday experience.


Good night world,

another year, with still
99problems.




oh yeah, threw up about a gallon of spicy fries chips+mucus;
happy birthday to me.



next plan: VALENTINES DAY=SKY DIVING; one thing off the bucket list.